When was the last time, if ever, you stood in front of a mirror naked? Disrobed of all layers of not only clothing but self-judgement, feelings, wounding; standing full monty in freedom and total acceptance of who you’ve been throughout your life? Who you are now.
How truly naked can you get?
Up until very recently I couldn’t get naked at all. In fact, I covered myself up underneath many many layers.
In my heart of hearts, I imagined myself depicted as a post-warrior woman like the character Eleanor Rigby in the Cirque du Soleil’s The Beatles LOVE (pictured below), pulling the weight of my personal past through the rubble on all roads I’ve taken in this life. The emotions I was never able to bare bundled up and packed heavily on my back. Zipped up tightly, safely kept, coveted even, I carried them my whole life. Hunched over trudging forward with decades of decisions and baggage, inner layers pulled up around my outer body in a protective snugness…a beaten but proudly-displayed badge of strength and feminine power was my award.
And then the obligation became unbearable as life continued to throw obstacles in my path, challenges consistently arose, and shift kept happening! There was just no more room for a single thing on that wagon which simultaneously echoed my every step while memories and flighted thoughts flew across my universe reminding me of childhood favorites like holly hobbie and hobos with their patchwork clothes and stitched up hearts.
Then I realized one night recently as I walked in the neighborhood, I flashed back on the decades of hidden secrets I’d stacked high, building a fortress around my true self. A mountain of failed dreams, endeavors and desires never coming to fruition; secrets burried deep within; thoughts, words, experiences I held so close to my core…some that I didn’t even think about anymore! Things I’ve never told a single soul I had been silently toting every day since.
The love I’d lost, the truth I was completely blind to, the feelings and emotions constantly trolling inside me that I turned a deaf ear to. Pain I had inflicted on myself and others with bad word choices and reactions to situations that were just simple proposals or opportunities for growth or choice.
But through the last several years, I started stripping off my costume, pulling back the multiple masks I’ve worn by using many healing modalities like fasting in the wilderness, taking peote, crawling into sweat lodges, going on vision quests, astro traveling in a great galactic galaxy of timelessness. They were all strikes on layers of my past, attempting to peel back one at a time until I was close to seeing and speaking my truth.
And finally, just days ago, I was fortunate enough to talk to a trusted soul mate who was willing to hear my testimony, my story. Two ears, no waiting without judgment. Through this precise divinely-aligned experience, I became present for several intense hours allowing myself to be totally supported in excavating the roots of she. Me.
There I was.
My true Self showed up in the most loving way possible. I was gifted and blessed with true freedom.
Fly with your wings wide. Free your secrets. Open your baggage. Pull back the layers. Tell someone you trust EVERYTHING. Cleanse your soul of all significant memories. Acknowledge the programming then quiet your mind, open your heart, and be still. Sit with it. Be present for/with your Self. Don’t analyze, just allow truth to resonate without judging your self!
Own who you were and who you’ve become. The awareness will bring forward the secrets of the past and release them in the awakening that is upon you. And then you can ask, “who do I want to be?”
Right then and there, the light is in sight.
It was a blessed day when that energy lifted off me and released itself into the great unknown to become one with the Universal Source, transformed into the love that will shine back upon me through my Self and the reflection of others.
I send the biggest gratitude to my forever friend & soul mate who’s traveled lifetimes to help me evolve, and I him. With every endeavor I’ve navigated in the name of healing my Self fully, ironically I couldn’t have gotten this particular very-important required piece & peace without You.
On wings and waves..backpacks & baggage, blessings are being streamed to you all with the biggest love from my heart.
✌🧡🙏 Shannon
