Drifting Into My New Self

Recently I found myself peeking through a very thin veil of the last 11 months.  For the first few I hibernated and when I woke up I started my calibration expecting an awakening.  After impatiently waiting, I honestly wondered if it would ever come.   Even though I knew I was right where I should be, that this was significant and meaningful time for me on several levels, I was alerted when I described myself to a family member as feeling quite literally…invisible.

Looking from the outside in, I saw myself changing, dissipating, and yes actually disappearing.  I felt that no one could see me.  No one could hear me.  I really wondered if anyone wanted to.  I was like the child who was not allowed to speak unless spoken to…but no one spoke to me.  So I asked my Self, is it my age?  Is it my stressful job?  Am I simply not a likable person?  I mean, really, what is going on here?

Twenty-four hours later, Sara Wise was the one who magically appeared answering my questions by whispering into my inner~most ear with her Daily Divine message.  Rings of echoing truths were being laid to rest on the soft~edges of my still~healing heart.   She said…

“During these times when we find ourselves feeling lost;
when we are adrift in the fog, it soon becomes apparent that there isn’t a point in rowing if we don’t know where we are going…
If you find yourself in this kind of place, it is okay to relax and not worry about this phase of lostness.  From a spiritual perspective, this is a sign that you are moving into a new self.”

 

Many times in my life now I’ve moved into a new self, not by choice.  Each time I’ve sought and fought to save my self from losing me within the center of avoiding what was always inevitable.  Somehow it all seems so unreasonable now.  Because this time I am doing this by choice … to wake up to who I really am … and I feel her message of truth resonating way into the deep layers of me.

TRUTH is:  I am rowing into the mist of a dream where I am releasing my old self, lost love, past relationships, grief of deaths, memories which don’t fit anymore, and beliefs/programming that no longer support my future.

And MORE TRUTH is:  It’s a very difficult place to be.  I can’t see what’s next.  Simply because it’s just not yet present.

Things became clear within the light inside this fog I found myself navigating.  When I released the confusion and the desire to know the outcome, I cellularly felt a gifting of permission to sit adrift in my boat for a while and ‘not need to know.’

Sara read me perfectly as she continued,

“the fog rolls in from all sides and whispers to simply surrender to this misty, unclear beauty.”

 

So…here I am, I surrender.

What I can know is that yes I AM in the middle.  I can be present in just being there allowing alignment with … the nothingness.  I can be present in the waiting stage … in the cocoon … in the avoid of knowing.
.
And now I can truly say that I have no anticipation, no desire for pushing or pulling.  Not a single thing inside me expects the growing of wings any sooner than what is divinely aligned for me.
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I have kept myself very busy in this life, brothers & sisters, for many months, years and decades.  Sara’s beautiful message helped me to fall into the acceptance without a need for accountability or responsibility in this phase of my transition.

I’m at peace resting in neutral space, in the in~between, and I have naturally arrived to a time when the busyness is no longer where I need to be.

On wings & calm soothing waves, I share with you the open space of nothingness where you’re invited to come on it…the water is fine.

Peace & Love,

Rev. Shannon Paige, PhD.

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